Be inspired

Updated 23 August 2004

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

Courtesy of the Dalai Lama (right)

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R's:

1. Respect for self,
2. Respect for others, and
3. Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

(PS I recommend visiting Madame Tussauds in London for an unforgettable experience - take your camera and plenty of film, you never know who you might meet!)

FRIENDS......

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. (Winnie the Pooh)

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost. (Charles Caleb Colton)

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend. (Albert Camus)

Friendship is one mind in two bodies. (Mencius)

Friends are God's way of taking care of us.

If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend. (Stone Temple Pilots)

I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay. (Dave Matthews Band)

We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere. (Tim McGraw)

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life. (Lee Iacocca)

Hold a true friend with both your hands. (Nigerian Proverb)

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

19 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN by DAVE BARRY

1. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

2. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggest you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

17. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

19. Your friends love you, anyway.

The importance of being important

The following is something to make us stop and think. Take this quiz:

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier? The lesson? The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

I've learned ...

I've learned ... that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned ... that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned ... that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned ... that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've learned ... that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned ... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned ... that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned ... that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned ... that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned ... that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned ... that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned ... that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned ... that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned ... that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned ... that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned ... that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned ... that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned ... that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned ... that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for
your grief.

I've learned ... that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned ... that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned ... that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned ... that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned ... that two people can look at the same thing and see something completely different.

I've learned ... that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned ... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned ... that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned ... that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

Great quotes

The secret of life is to know who you are and where you are going.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

Love people and use things, not love things and use people.

The purpose of failure is to teach us the lessons we need to learn in order to take the next step in life.

The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that must precede the victory.
(Ted Engstrom)

People with goals succeed because they know where they're going.
(Earl Nightingale)

The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem; believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.
(Jerry Gillies)

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
(John Ruskin)

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
(James Barrie)

Remember, no-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
(George Bernard Shaw)

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
(William Feather)

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which one has overcome while trying to succeed.
(Brooker T Washington)

You can get almost everything accomplished if you don't mind who gets the credit.
(Ned Hay)

Success is a journey, not a destination.
(Ben Sweetland)

Do what you love, love what you do.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
(Thomas Alva Edison)

Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Never, never, never quit.
(Winston Churchill)

The best way to judge an individual is by observing how he treats people who can do him absolutely no good.

The true test of a man is what he does when he thinks no one is looking.

No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.
(Voltaire)

History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. The won because they refused to to become discouraged by their defeats.
(B C Forbes)

We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.

A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
(Walter Gagehot)

Coincidences are spiritual puns.
(G K Chesterton)

When you hire people who are smarter than you, you prove you are smarter than they are.
(R H Grant)

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
(George Bernard Shaw)

The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
(Bishop W C Magee)

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts
(John Wooden)

Quotes on bullying

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

You're never too old ... or too young ... to learn. See the wisdom of age at http://www.emofree.com/wisdom.htm

Pass this web page (http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/inspire/inspire1.htm) on to to others who can benefit.

Enjoy some wisdom from Success Unlimited

Recommended reading on identifying and dealing with bullying, harassment and psychological violence

Bully in sight
How to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying
Overcoming the silence and denial by which abuse thrives
by
Tim Field
Foreword by Diana Lamplugh OBE
ISBN 0952912104
Published by Success Unlimited in 1996
Paperback, 16 chapters, 384 pages, resources, index
Click book cover (left) for more details

"Will be eagerly read by those waiting for an update [to Andrea Adams' book]"
Times Educational Supplement 7/3/97
"Powerful, compassionate, practical" Nursing Times, 1/1/97

Readers' feedback and comments.

Written with the experience and insight only a fellow experiencer can impart, Bully in sight validates the experience of bullying when everyone else is trying to deny it. The injury to health caused by stress resulting from bullying and harassment is described in detail.

Bully in sight identifies bullying as a major cause of stress and the common denominator of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, conflict and violence. Bully in sight provides a chillingly accurate portrayal of the principal perpetrator of psychological violence, the serial bully, a joyless, humorless, loveless individual who is a compulsive liar with a Jekyll & Hyde nature who has a compulsive need to control through constant trivial criticism and a pathological refusal to value and recognise.

Packed with insight, ideas and direction, plus sources of help and suggested reading.

Order your signed copy:
 Online with secure credit card ordering
 By fax or letter with printed order form

Recommended reading on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and recovery from trauma

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
The invisible injury, 2005 edition
by
David Kinchin

ISBN 0952912147
Published by Success Unlimited 2005
Paperback, 16 chapters, 224 pages, resources, index
Click book cover (left) for more information

"This is the book I so badly wanted when I was traumatised."
David Kinchin, Author

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: the invisible injury provides clear, practical advice for recovery from major traumatic experiences, including violence, harassment, assault, rape, accident, fire, explosion, disaster, or witnessing such events.

PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. The symptoms are surprisingly common and include sleep problems, nightmares and waking early, impaired memory, inability to concentrate, hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), jumpiness and exaggerated startle response, fragility and hypersensitivity, irritability, violent outbursts, joint and muscle pains, panic attacks, fatigue, low self-esteem, exaggerated feelings of guilt, feelings of nervousness and anxiety.

Order your copy:
 Online with secure credit card ordering
 By fax or letter with printed order form

Where now?
Success Unlimited
Books on bullying and related issues including PTSD
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